


Oh, Comely

by foollikeme



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Synesthesia, M/M, Rehabilitation, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8061478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foollikeme/pseuds/foollikeme
Summary: "How are you feeling today, Joshua?"
"I'm... You want me to use regular words, sir? The better ones?"
"No. Just tell me how you feel, as you would your mother or friend."
"I feel pretty G-R-E-E-N."





	1. They Say the Ocean's Blue

**Author's Note:**

> (( Warnings mentioned at the beginning of each chapter summary. Stay alive, friends. ))

"How are you feeling today, Joshua?"

"I'm... You want me to use regular words, sir? The better ones?"

"No. Just tell me how you feel, as you would your mother or friend."

"I feel pretty G-R-E-E-N."

Josh fidgeted nervously with his fingers. His palms were collapsed over his lap, folded together. His hands were sweaty from twitching around. 

"Green? What does Green mean, Joshua?" An older man asked him, sitting at a worn desk. His hands were also joined together, fingers interlocked. His knuckles were white from the grip, which made Josh feel just a little more at ease. He knew that he wasn't the only nervous one here now.

Josh spent a few seconds pondering over how to respond. His colors never change, but the biography of each one switches from time to time, based on how he feels. "G-R-E-E-N is kind of like that feeling where you miss a step going up the stairs. Or forgetting to study for a test. That's my G-R-E-E-N right now, sir."

"Please, just call me Cly. So, Green is associated with nervousness?" Josh only nodded slightly in response, looking down to his lap. He wasn't very uncomfortable in this situation, just anxious for meeting somebody new. Not to mention a potential therapist, one he would hopefully like better than the last few he'd had. Cly nodded sharply at Josh's half-assed response, scribbling something down on a nearby stickynote. "Do you *see* Green, Joshua?"

"Yes. It's all G-R-E-E-N; but now it's more of a T-E-A-L? Maybe, I'm trying not to see colors right now. It's bothering me." Josh admitted sheepishly. His Synesthesia was something he could easily live with, had it not affected his ability to concentrate or perform. Being Green meant seeing Green- not the color, mind you. Seeing Green was like seeing the panicked faces of mourning people everywhere you went, or like noticing the feeling of dread around you as you pass a funeral.

"Can you better explain Teal for me, please?" Cly's eyes were warm, and hazel. Brown wasn't Josh's favorite color, but coffee and his favorite drumsticks were Brown and he liked those, so maybe he could manage with Cly's eyes. Josh cleared his throat and tried to explain how Teal worked.

"T-E-A-L is... sadness. But not depression, because depression is B-L-A-C-K and joined colors don't exist. They just mix and turn gross, instead of blending to create something new..." The panicked boy finished quickly, his tongue pressing up against the wall of his cheek. He wishes he had something to fidget with right now.

Cly only smiled softly in response, ripping off the past sticky note and pasting it on the wall next to him. He scribbled something else down on another and did the same to that one. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Joshua. You know that, right?"

"Right."

"If you ever feel bad because of being here, like Teal or Green or Black, you need to let me know, okay?" The therapist responded softly, yet strongly. His voice reminded him of Orange. It was a nice change from everybody else, who were ultimately the main reason why he has to sit here today.

"Mkay." Josh looked back down to his hands. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes before Josh spoke up again, looking to meet his eyes carefully. "Can I go now?"

Cly nodded swiftly, returning another bright tangerine smile. "I'll look forward to our next session at the facility, Joshua."

"Me too."

\---

Josh’s mother helped him into her car steadily. This was going to be his last drive around town, and so his mother was trying to make the most of it before he was sent away. The radio was softly playing a Neutral Milk Hotel CD and Josh didn’t mind, it was one of his favorite albums and a nice couple of songs to watch the trees pass by in. His mother took notice, and refrained from trying to make any small talk. That is, until the third song ended abruptly by his mother turning the dial on her car radio down softly. 

“You know that your father and I care about you, right?” Her voice was panicked, and Josh resisted the urge to reach out and hug his mom. He was still pissed, more or less at himself than anyone else. 

“Yeah.” Was all that he said in response, turning away. He wanted to reach over and turn on the radio again, but knew better than that. His mom could very well just take out the CD and toss it aside, as she had done before. This was her car, and she could do whatever she wanted with it.

Josh’s mom glanced at her son weakly. The sun had set just a little bit ago and street lights exploded the town in bright lights, catching Josh’s attention momentarily. God, fuck him and his ADD.

“We didn’t do this because we wanted to, Joshua. We did this because we had to. You know that, so why do you continue to act like this? It’s unfair…” Josh’s mother looked beat. He had been giving her the half-assed silent treatment for nearly a week now, but luckily for the both of them it would be over soon. Tomorrow he didn’t have to see her again, if he really didn’t want to. Blue washed over him momentarily. A few more hours, and he would be free from his mother. And his father too, but that really hadn’t crossed his mind. His dad never really payed much attention to anything, which I guess can be considered a form of neglect, if you look into it. There were times when his mother would have to stay out late for work and his dad would just… sit there. Watching T.V., probably, but Josh never believed any of the bullshit on there. Not because none of it seemed true, but only because his father did, and that was all that it took for Josh to hate it.

“Yeah.” Josh mumbled in reply, fingers tracing absentmindedly on the glossy windows of the car he was sitting in. They had fogged up from the cold air, and Josh had guessed that it was going to rain today or tomorrow. Which was perfect, he thought, because what a better scenario to leave his family than that of a rainstorm? A perfectly gloomy bright beautiful B-L-U-E day, Josh thought to himself, mocking the way he had to spell his colors out.

His mother sighed in defeat and turned the radio dial back up again. By now, the seventh song was already playing loudly, and Josh’s face rested against the cold glass of the window. He drifted to sleep casually, listening to the beat of small raindrops on his window and soft guitar strumming on the radio. The only color that invaded his dreams was Violet.

\---

“Are you packed, honey?”

“Mm.” Came the reply from Joshua, the next morning. Truth be told he was packed, all of his duffle bags were centered in his room casually. They slumped against one another, and Josh sighed when he had woken up to the thought of having to untangle the straps to them again.

“Come get breakfast!” His mother yelled up the stairs, trying to be as ‘good stay-at-home mom’ as possible before he was gone from her life. Josh saw right through the facade, tossing the drumsticks he was toying with in an open bag and heading downstairs anyway.

The scent of waffles and maple syrup drifted through the air and Josh probably would’ve leapt in the air from joy, had he not still been angry at his mom. He couldn’t imagine himself ever getting over something like this, waffles or no waffles. 

Josh slumped down in a chair and his mother brought out a plate for him. On the other side of the table, his dad was sitting with a newspaper clutched in his hands. Steam from his coffee calmly floated above, and his father made some sort of complimentary grunting noise of appreciation as Josh’s mom shimmied a coaster under it.

He ate in silence, nodding and mumbling small “Yes's” and “No’s” from time to time whenever his mom asked a question. His dad said absolutely nothing in regard to the whole situation, but that was to be expected. He probably didn’t even remember his birthday, so to speak. He got presents from both his mother and his father but the ones from his dad were written in his mother's handwriting, just as it would be on Christmas or any other time. Josh didn’t mind, though. It more or less just made him feel kind of bad for his mom, who he was supposed to be angry for right now, goddamnit. Pity can wait until he’s done being angsty. Memories from those days only brought Blues and Browns and an odd combination of Green and Teal and Blue, which he couldn’t yet find a name for. It was too confusing to think about.

An hour of this whizzed by and Josh only remained Blue. Looking over to see his mothers sad and nervous expression sent waves of Aquamarine and Gray towards himself, and he shuddered whenever her eyes became teary. That happened a lot within 60 (give or take a few) minutes, and Josh was slightly happy at the thought of being able to rain-check this pity party.

His mother cleared her throat and finished washing everybody’s dishes, turning to Josh. “It’s time to go, honey. Please, I…” Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and she rubbed her eyes with her knuckles roughly. “I love you so much. I know you hate me, Joshua, but you know why I’m doing this. You’ll be back in no time.” 

Josh punched himself in the face inside, groaning at his idiocy. He was an idiot because what he did next was pull his mother in for a wet hug, her tears soaking his button-up shirt slightly. He felt a twinge of guilt strike him like lightening, but ignored it for her sake. “Mom. I gotta go. Love you too. Take care of Spooky for me, yeah?” Spooky was his cat. He loved cats more than he loved people.

“Y-Yes, of course, we’ve talked about this! Now go, okay? I love you. I love you so much.” His mom wiped more tears from her cheeks and turned away, probably to go consult her husband again. Josh felt more guilt wash over him like a truck, just at the thought of leaving his mom alone with his dad. He had bad vibes about this thing, but continued to walk with his bags.

A glance at the window outside revealed that it wasn’t raining anymore. It was pouring.

B-L-U-E.

 

\---

 

The bus that he rode to the facility he was staying at was empty, besides the plump bus driver that sat up front. She seemed sad, as if something terrible had happened to her recently, and so Josh gave her a warm smile before climbing to the back of the bus. There was a joined seat at the end of it, one that was build to hoist equipment on, and Josh found out that this had to have been the perfect place to sleep on a bus. Hours drifted by like seconds as music blared from his headphones, the music was crowning his head miserably and he wanted to cry and yell at the same time. Instead, he fished for the drumsticks he had shoved in his bag and pulled them out in all their glory. These were his favorite pair, they made all the right noises and Josh considered them his children. Both of them had symbols very lightly drawn onto them, and his right one had “anathema” carved into the base sharply. Josh didn’t know why he really liked that word, he more or less just did.

He started off simplistic- tapping out a regular beat on the back of the seats in front of him. The bus driver glanced at him curiously but said nothing, only looking forward at the road. If she minded, she never said anything.

It then became a lot more complex, Josh set barrels meant for trash in front of him and mimicked his own drum set at home. He didn’t have cymbals or a pedal or anything fancy, but he had three buckets, a leather seat, and his two feet that he could make work. It was an easy way to pass the time, and frankly, it was rather fun.

When he was sweating up a storm and his fingers cramped in agony, Josh had finally stopped. He shot the bus driver up front an apologetic look (because he had totally forgot that she was driving him somewhere) but she returned a genuine smile, which made Josh very Pink and Violet inside. Maybe it was considered a Magenta, but Josh would have to write that down for later.

He stacked the buckets up, organizing what little dropped from them as he did so. He then shoved his drumsticks back into their original place and cracked his fingers, sighing at the popping noise they made. Maybe he could get a few minutes in of just staring out of the window, familiar tunes still beating in the back of his mind.

\---

When Josh arrived at the facility, his heart dropped at the sight. It was just a normal, plain old apartment complex, that looked newly renovated. Josh’s mother had told him prior that there were barely ten kids in this place, but it looked too big for that. He really didn’t want to have to meet this many depressed teengares, not all at once at least.

He smiled softly at the bus driver, who thanked him in return for the “rad beats” he was drumming out. Josh felt a little giddy, and stepped out with all of his stuff. The lump in his throat grew as he approached the gates, and tapped on the buzzer swiftly. It only took a minute or so for the gates to swing open dramatically, and with a sigh, Josh walked. The sidewalk he was on had numerous chalk drawings on it, mostly of little daisies and smiling faces. Others were harshly drawn images of scenery, and some were sharp pictures of people's faces. It was all very good art, and Josh made sure that he walked a little slower to admire it all.

Another button sat on the wall next to the door, and Josh rang that one as well. Instead of a buzz, it was only a normal doorbell sound, and Josh smiled lightly to himself. “P-I-N-K,” He murmured, eyeing the closed door with curiosity.

It opened from the inside, thank god, and Josh caught his breath as he looked at the man before him. It was a boy, probably around his age, that had short hair and a sleeve of tattoos. There was a beanie rested cutely on his head, and he looked bored as all hell. Until he saw Josh, and his eyes slowly widened.

“UH, GEE? GEE! THE NEW DUDE IS HERE! GEE!” The mystery boy screeched, and Josh winced a little at the sound. He was loud, which didn’t bother Josh in the slightest. Loud meant Yellow and Pink and Orange, when it was the right type of loud.

Another boy screamed from upstairs, and the teenager with the tattoo sleeve giggled slightly as the duo heard a thud. Swiftly, the other man revealed himself to Josh with a panicked expression. He was wearing a black jacket and skinny jeans, and looked to be around ten years older than Josh himself. ‘Gee’ smiled in relief at the face, and dragged Josh inside by his shoulder. The boy he had met first closed the door behind him, and walked away from the pair. 

“Josh, your name is?” Gee asked, his voice was rough but warm at the same time. It reminded him of his acoustic guitar, the one that he missed already.

“Yeah..” Came his reply, soft and calm. He hated his own voice.

Gee smiled brightly and stood in front of Josh, opening his arms widely and expressing his joy loudly. “Welcome to our rehabilitation center!”


	2. Don't Leave Me Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (( Rough road ahead, folks. Prepare. ))

Gee, or Gerard (as he had recently found out) was fantastic with people. Especially younger people, but not in a weird or creepy way. He wasn’t a pedophile, as far as Josh could see, which was a plus. Gerard just wanted to help teenagers with depression, or the things they couldn’t quite control. His building took the latter. 

Josh didn’t know just until Gerard sent him to his room to unpack things before any meetings took place that this entire building was dedicated to people with ‘strange mental distractions’. Gerard told Josh himself that he had depression, but didn’t dwell on it, which was good. He told him that when he was finished setting up his room how he’d like, or resting, or thinking, or whatever, he would hold everybody downstairs for some sort of meeting. Josh wasn’t really looking forward to that.

The room he was in was pretty big, and barren. The space this facility took up was big enough for ten times the people that were actually here, so of course Gerard wasn’t at a shortage of bigger rooms. There was a white dresser on the left wall, underneath a window. A nightstand stood proudly next to his bed, which was also white. The entire room was white- which more or less sent impulses of White and Orange through him. Oh, the irony.

He set his bags down and lazily unzipped the one with all of his clothes. Or, most of them, because he still had another bag that was gladly stocked on his snapbacks and handmade bracelets. 

The drawers to his dresser opened with a slight creak, and Josh began to set his neatly folded clothing (thanks, mom) in the top and second drawer. He didn’t have enough clothing to fill up the last one, but that was okay. He shoved his drumsticks (that were guarded by the plush of most of his sweaters) underneath a pair of jeans in his top drawer. He didn’t want to know if those were even allowed here, and would probably cry if they were take away from him.

Josh had just began changing the small plugs from his stretched ears (they weren’t big yet, so it kind of hurt) when somebody had already barged in. That was to be expected, but they couldn’t have waited ten minutes?

“Hey! New kid!” The boy threw open the door, eyes rested uncomfortably on Josh and his hands. Josh jumped a good thirty feet in the air, dropping his left plug and cursing slightly under his breath. He figured it probably rolled under his dresser, and collapsed on his knees to surf for it.

“Uh, oops! Sorry!” Oh, fuck. That guy is still there. Josh tried to ignore him as his clammy hands reached around for his earpiece. “Thought I should let ya know that we have a meeting in five!” 

Josh nearly hit his head on the bottom of his dresser in surprise, but he was intent on not dropping it again. Swiftly, he slid himself out from under the dresser and stood up again, dusting himself off with his free hand before fixing the newly found plug in his ear. He nodded quietly toward the mystery boy, who only shrugged in response and left his room. The door swung shut behind him with a loud thud.

Josh spent only a couple of minutes messing with his hair and slapping some deodorant on before he started the trek downstairs, into where Gerard had before shown him the living area. That’s where all of the meetings were held, or so he’d been told. It might’ve been just something quick on a whim, but it doesn’t really matter. He felt Green and Indigo and all sorts of bad.

 

\---

He managed to make it on time- well, sort of. He was a little late, and was the last person there, but Gerard didn’t seem phased by it at all. He only smiled and offered Josh a seat next to a few unknown people at the end of a long, circular couch that looked custom made for this room. 

“Ah, Josh! Glad you could join us. Here, have a seat.”

Josh silently fiddled with his thumbs, seeing Lime everywhere. He could practically feel everybody's heartbeats thumping in their chests… No. Now was not the time to have a panic attack. Josh decided to not let those thoughts bother him and relax into a still-not-calming Green instead. Gerard spoke up shortly after Josh had sat down, his soft/rough voice taking Josh by surprise again.

“Alright, everybody, settle down. This is Josh…” Gerard looked to Josh with a sense of confusion, and Josh cleared his throat to speak up.

“Dun.”

“Josh Dun.” Gee’s face slipped back into that calm and happy expression, continuing his thoughts. “He’s new here, and I expect you all to show respect towards him, as you would anyone else. Got it?” There was a murmur of agreement among the people he was sitting by, and those across from him nodded silently. “Great! So, Josh, you know what this place is. You’ve read up on it, thought about this for a long time. I’m not one to rant, so I expect that you understand the gist of the place. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Josh mumbled, looking back down to his hands. He bit his lip anxiously, really hoping this would be over soon.

“Fantastic. The rules to the house are simple as well. Most everyone here could greatly teach you about them, isn’t that right?” Another couple silent nods of agreement sprung throughout the room. Josh still felt Green.

“Okay, then. This won’t be too long, Joshua. I assume you’re tired.” Gerard paused momentarily, and then clapped his hands together softly. “Let’s get to know everyone!”

A few kids smiled at Gee’s enthusiasm. Josh figured they respected him a lot, which was pretty rad.

“We’ll start with you, Brendon. You know the drill.”

Brendon, apparently his name was, groaned audibly. He was the boy that’d scared Josh upstairs. He had styled brown hair and a strong jawline, and Josh would’ve been lying if he said that he wasn’t pretty handsome. “Yo. My name’s Brendon, you know that though. Uh… Oh! I like dogs. And I have perfect pitch, too, so I sing a lot, and… I’m in here because I’m recovering from alcohol and drug abuse.” Josh looked up when Brendon had finished talking, meeting his eyes with a small smile. He seemed skittish, and Josh felt an overwhelming need to protect him. Not in some sort of romantic way though, because a small glance to the right could show anyone that Brendon’s hand was clinging softly to someone else’s hand beside him. Friends, though, Josh figured. They could be really good friends.

The boy that was holding Brendon’s hand looked to Josh next. He was wearing too much cherry chapstick and gave off a very strong Orange vibe. Which was perfectly fine, because Orange wasn’t exactly a bold color. “Hey. I’m Ryan. I play guitar and stuff, uh.. I like coffee.” Ryan paused to smile slightly at his own awkward state, then continued. “I’m in here because of alcohol and stuff. Didn’t come from the best home, that’s it.”

Josh figured that everyone is really uncomfortable with him being there right now. Which he really can’t argue with, actually. This was a safe place for these people and Josh showed up out of the blue and disrupted it. Hopefully he’ll get into the swing of things soon, though,

A guy next to him- one with a pretty sick neck tattoo, spoke next. His voice was soft and he had a sliver of some sort of lisp, but Josh didn’t pay close enough attention to notice that. “I’m Andy. I play the drums.” Josh couldn’t help the small smile that came along with that, because maybe he would get a chance to drum along again someday. “I like… sports? And I’m in here because I’ve got anger issues”

“I’m Joe.” Another boy next to him smiled warmly. He had wild hair, and Josh couldn’t help but feel a tense bit of hair competition. His own was wild and, currently, bright blue. There can only be room for one. “I like music too, and I’m in here because, um. I’m depressed.”

There were more people, and so it continues. This boy was ridiculously short, but absolutely adorable. “I’m Patrick! I sing, I guess. I like bunnies. I’m in here because I’ve got… problems.” Patrick looked down to his lap and grimaced, it was obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it. And that’s okay, because Josh didn’t really want to either. He kind of felt bad for the kid.

“I’m Pete. Cat’s n shit. In here for anxiety.” Pete was simple, Josh kind of liked that. He rubbed small circles in the small of Patrick's back. 

The boy next to him was sitting uncomfortably. He looked mildly upset, but not angry. Maybe something had happened prior to this meeting, who knows. “Dallon. I play guitar. And I like hats, I’m in here because of my paranoia and insomnia.” He spoke with some sort of authority. Probably the man-mom of the group, which Josh had total respect for. Dallon seemed like a trustworthy guy.

“Tyler.” Josh’s head snapped to the left a little bit to look at the boy that was sitting a good foot or so from his other side. He was quiet, soft spoken, but seemed pretty confident as it was. Josh had to admit that out of everyone in this room, Tyler was probably the most appealing to him. “I uh, I like to write, basketball n stuff. Play piano. I’m in here because I have… I have. I have Schizoaffective disorder and a little bit of Synesthesia that is linked to it. It’s pretty fucked up.” Tyler gave Josh a small, genuine smile, and Josh smiled right back. He got strange, colorless vibes from this guy. Usually people came off as Orange or Green, sometimes Teal or Indigo. But Tyler was… weird. Josh couldn’t tell what color he was seeing.

It took a small throat-clearing from Gerard for Josh to realize that it was his turn to speak. He jumped slightly and cleared his throat as well, speaking up so that everyone could hear him properly. “Hey. I’m Josh, uh… I drum, and I… uh, I dunno. Some crazy stuff happened to me when I was a kid, I guess, and I have really, really bad color Synesthesia. It gave me anxiety and I can’t control what happens when I get an attack, so my mom sent me here for that kinda thing. Uh…” Josh finished talking, eyes darting upward to meet some very surprised expressions. Most people probably took Josh as a druggie, or some sort of delinquent that they’d all grow to hate. People probably passed through here often, kids with problems like that. Kids that didn’t want to help. Josh wasn’t like that.

Instead of anyone commenting on his disorders, his problems, his anxiety or Synesthesia, the first words that anyone heard were: “Woah, you drum too?” From a very, suddenly happy looking Andy. After that, a few giggled insued. Josh only nodded his head in response, looking back down and smiling stupidly at his sneakers. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t hate it here too much.


	3. Like a River Flows, Surely to the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (( this is pretty shitty. I'm really not good at trying to draw things out, whoops. ))

Josh realized that he was very wrong sooner than later. He was not enjoying his time here, and it only took a few hours for him to realize that.

Josh had to fall asleep in complete darkness. It was just his thing, really, because any light showed color and he didn’t want to fall asleep to Yellow because Yellow meant excitement. He shuffled out of bed and yanked the nightlight out of its socket, tossing it aside with a few quiet scratching noises. It was only 6:00 PM, and Josh wasn’t planning on sleeping, but he’d rather not forget for later.

Gerard had mentioned roommates beforehand, but Josh figured that there was nobody like him in this place. He only booked those with clashing problems together, ones that didn’t quite understand the other. For example, Brendon was roommates with Dallon, and they seemed to be good friends. Gerard said that they helped each other quite often too, but Josh knew a lot better than that. He could see it in Dallons eyes, the boy was jealous. Sleeping on another side of the room from two lovers (Ryan totally snuck in every night, much to Gerards dismay) wasn’t really helping his insomnia, Josh figured. Ryan bunked with Tyler, who obviously needed someone with him, but nobody was there.

And so, idiotically, Josh decided that he’d ask to be put into a room with Tyler. Granted, he didn’t know what he had going on in his life, or if someone had already taken that position away from him, but it didn’t hurt to try. He found Gerard alone and politely (with his best manners, mamma didn’t raise no fool) asked him to consider it.

And, even more so idiotically, Gerard complied with complete sincerity.

“Oh! Of course. Tyler would probably not mind, it would take some adjusting, though.” Josh nodded curtly, turning around to walk away before Gerard interrupted him again. “But, Josh? Be nice to him. Tyler has been through a lot. A. Lot. He doesn’t need a bully, y’know?”

And, despite the obvious red flags, Josh had agreed. He showed off his best Ash Ketchum “determination” smile and headed off, more so to get his things than anything. Luckily for him, there was an uneven number of teenagers in this building, though not many, and Josh or Tyler probably would’ve both continued to be alone anyway. Josh hated to admit that he was terrified of being alone.

And, once more, Josh was still an idiot for picking a complete stranger's room over his own. Stupid for knocking on the door to Tyler's room, and even more so a dumbass for not realizing that Tylers room had a small dip in-between the shift in carpets that divided his room and the hallway.

He fell flat on his face, nose squished harshly on the scratchy carpet. Surprisingly, Tyler was in fact in the room when Josh had knocked, and was at his side in an instant. He helped Josh sit up, eyebrows furrowed in distress. Josh didn’t know the guy, but his overall concern for his well being was respectable at least.

“Ugh- fuck! Fuck, I’m an idiot.” And truthfully, he was. So fucking unbelievably stupid.

“Ah, shit dude! Are you okay?” Tyler’s voice rang through Josh’s ears, but he didn’t hear it. He was seeing Lime. Josh only nodded numbly in response, lifting his sore hand up to rub at his scuffed-up nose. Luckily nothing was bleeding, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because blood is messy, and a curse because Josh would kill someone for an opportunity away from this dastardly embarrassment. 

Tyler spoke up again after a few seconds, reaching over to grab one of Josh’s bags. He dragged them inside and shoved them to (presumably) Josh’s new bed, sighing lightly to himself. “Sorry. Gee should’ve warned you about the carpet, he’s working on fixing that but it isn’t exactly a priority, y’know?” Josh nodded again in response, though he really did not know. He stood up and followed Tyler inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Thanks.” Josh replied lazily, flopping down on the floor. He didn’t know what inspired his next plan of action, but it was the big puzzle piece that jigsawed this entire idiocy portrait. 

“You’re pretty P-I-N-K.”

“Uh, uh! That’s not what I, I mean… That IS what I, but I like, uh…” Josh mumbled, his cheeks dusting red lightly. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

Tyler only grinned widely in response, sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the floor across from him. “Synesthesia?”

Josh nodded. “Mm. Sorry, sometimes stuff like that just happens.”

“No, it’s okay.” Tyler paused, and then looked back up to Josh with an even bigger grin plastered on his face. “You are a Sunflower. That’s my Synesthesia, flowers. Everything is so… life-like, everywhere I go. I don’t meet a lot of Sunflowers nowadays, so that makes you pretty rad.”

And Josh felt weightless. If his cheeks could be any more red, they sure were. Which was again; STUPID; because he didn’t even know what “sunflower” meant. It could mean ‘hey you give off pretty sarcastic serial killer vibes’ and Josh couldn’t care less. He felt important, which was a first. And that was all that mattered.

\---

Tyler liked the color white. Josh knew this because he asked him what his favorite color was, to which he replied. “White. And what is your favorite flower?”

And Josh had replied with “Orchid.”

They both had meaningless conversation like this for a long time after Josh had tripped earlier. It was so easy to talk to Tyler, the words just rolled off of his tongue in the nicest of ways. It made him feel so unbelievably Pink inside, and Josh hoped that Tyler felt the same. (In his own way, obviously.)

As of now, the duo were trying to describe their Synesthesia to one another in the best way possible. It was really difficult, especially for strangers, but the amount of determination built up inside the two boys was enough to try. Josh tossed Tyler a pad of sticky notes and asked him to write one of his floral-synesthetic links on every one. Tyler complied, and Josh did the same whilst explaining each one.

“So, I experience all kinds of colors. The darker they are, the worse they tend to be, if that makes any sense?” He turned to Tyler, who shrugged and nodded slowly afterward. “Uh, R-E-D is passion, love, things to that extent. I’ve never felt much R-E-D before in my life, only a few times, so I don’t really comprehend a lot of it.” Josh scratched a few words down on his stickynote and slapped it carefully on the wall beside him. Tyler then clicked his own pen and started writing on his.

“Red for you is like Lilies to me. Lilies are… Lilies are love. Not passion, I don’t have a flower for that exactly? I smell Lilies when I’m in love, or just really REALLY like a person/thing.” Tyler wrote some things down on his note and stuck that to the wall on his side, grinning as it nearly perfectly lined up with Josh’s own.

Josh licked the tip of his ballpoint pen and continued. “O-R-A-N-G-E is monotone. I sometimes see that color when I’m pretty numb, y’know? When not much is happening. O-R-A-N-G-E is, what my therapist once said at least, kind of like what boredom feels for someone with ADHD. I don’t mind that color, though.” Another note was added on the left side of the other one calmly, and Josh rubbed small circles into the sticky part above the text so that it didn’t fall off.

“Anthurium is the same way. I can’t find a more complex definition than simply ‘relaxed or calm’ because that’s basically what it is, but I sometimes feel that way when I’m bored too. Sometimes I think it’s a reminder from like, God or something, that I should do something. Not that I ever comply.” Tyler smiled at Josh, who returned it sheepishly, and added another sticky note to the collection on the wall.

It continued like this for a while, them just sharing colors and flowers and scales and ideas between the two different kinds of Synesthesia they shared. Eventually (and unfortunately) though, the two of them had run out of senses to share. That’s when things started getting a tiny bit more complicated, when Josh introduced Tyler to 20 questions.

“What? You’ve never played 20 questions?” Josh asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Tyler only shook his head.

“Nope.” Tyler casually responded, popping the ‘P’ sound out loudly. Josh shook his head in shame, sighing dramatically.

“Weeeell! That can’t do. 20 questions was every poor kids entire childhood, y’see, because we didn’t have Monopoly and Jenga! So we just started… asking each other questions, usually about the same topic. It’s really easy.” Tyler nodded in response, waiting for Josh to continue. “So, I’ll start and then help you, yeah” Another nod.

“What state are you from?” Josh and Tyler were now sitting on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Tyler had placed glow-in-the-dark stickers up there, little white stars and a big bright moon. 

“Ohio!” Tyler answered with a smile, and Josh’s face lit up in enthusiasm. 

“Seriously dude!? Me too! Which city?”

“Columbus!” The other boy giggled, and Josh had decided right after that he wanted to hear Tyler laugh again and again and again. It was a gorgeous sound, breathy and light. Like feathers, or his favorite combination of colors, Red and Pink and White.

Josh turned to face Tyler, his eyes were wide. “Holy shit! Me too! Uh, did you, um… Did you ever go to Bridgeway?” Josh’s curiosity spiked, and Tyler giggled once more, which was like angels singing.

“Ah, no. I went to Ohio Memorial, it was pretty big. It’s still crazy, though, that I only lived an hour or so away from you!”

Josh grinned widely, nodding his head and looking back up to the stars. “Sucks that we never got to meet before. But, um, here I am, in a…” Josh refused to utter the word ‘nuthouse’, even though he really wanted to. The feeling of Green washed back over him in an instant, and he hated everything about it. He saw the fear in Tyler’s eyes, the concern etched into his features. The room felt so small…

“Josh? Joshua? Josh!” Tyler hissed, shaking his shoulder. Josh flinched suddenly and looked at Tyler with a pained expression.

“I gotta go.” Was all he said, before heading out of Tyler’s room. He ignored the strained whines of protest from his new friend and headed out of his room, practically marching downstairs to find the bathroom. When he made it in, the locked the door, and leaned up against the brittle wallpaper that barely covered the bathroom walls. Everything was so utterly GREEN. He hated it. HE hates GREEN.

And he is so unbelievably fucking STUPID for letting his mind wander, even for a second, over the thought that maybe Tyler could be the one to erase all of his Green.


	4. We Are Young People With High Standards (I Guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (( whoops remember this story lmao ))

Josh, after that incident, was trying to quietly come up with an appolgy for his mishap. He had left the nasty bathroom, deciding against just wandering around and exploring at 11:00 P.M. Which, he hoped, was a good thing. He wasn't nocturnal, at least sometimes.

He trudged up the stairs, alone. Everyone had gone to bed, not that long after Josh's instant arrival. He assumed it was because today was just a long day, and everyone needed their individual resting time. That, or they were having sex, which didn't seem far off. It was a remidial home filled with gay teenagers, c'mon. Gee himself was dating a man. This was not news to anyone else, but Josh was silently glad that he wouldn't have to hide his unkempt hate for homophobia. Like some weird, christian conformative camp or something. Sheesh.

When he had made it up the stairs without falling down them, much to his own dismay, Josh knocked on Tyler's door quietly. He opened it with a small smile, allowing Josh in. All of the lights were off, except one nightlight. Josh smiled inwardly at that, because it was just so.. Tyler. He didn't know Tyler personally, not yet, but from what he could take out of him in the past few hours, a nightlight was really him. Especially one in the shape of a little rose, which was both corny and adorable at the same time.

"Hey." Josh said, kind of awkwardly, walking inside of their newly shared room. He then went over and flopped on his bed. Tyler snickered, shutting the door behind Josh.

"Hey." Tyler replied in the same tone, going over to sit next to Josh. "All of 'em are sleeping. We can go to bed, too, if you want."

"...Or?" Josh raised an eyebrow, grinning from ear to ear. "Ooooooor...."

"Or, we could stay up all night talking about aliens, and why penguins are considered birds if they can't even fly."

Josh faked offense. "Be nice to the penguins! They're good guys. I've met a few."

"Uh, yeah, duh. Everyone's been to the zoo."

Josh rolled his eyes, still smiling widely. Although he made a scene a little while ago, and the apology was about to be kind of awkward, he was honestly pretty happy that Tyler wasn't too mad at him. "So, um..."

"Yeah?"

He bit his upper lip, looking to the ground in half shame, half anxiety. "I'msorrythatImadeasceneuphere." He said, refusing to meet Tyler's gaze. Josh looked everywhere but his face, the bedframe, the floor, his hands, his jeans, the fucked-up carpeting...

Tyler sighed, shaking his head. "Dude. I have, like, super bad anxiety. I'll probably do the same sometime soon, don't worry!"

"Oh." Josh said, glancing upward to make eye contact with Tyler. "Oh, oh man. I'm sorry, ugh. I'm such a fuckin' idiot sometimes." He pressed a hand to his face, rubbing it in frustration. Of course Tyler wouldn't be mad- the two could relate on more than one problem of Josh's. Fucking Green. "Fucking G-R-E-E-N."

Tyler smiled softly. It was warm, inviting and calm and Josh loved everything about it. "Like I said, don't worry. I'm here if you need to freak out, trust me. Also..." He paused, and Josh's face fell. This was where Tyler was about to call him out, ask him to find a new roomate. Gee wouldn't be happy at all, seeing as they didn't really have space for another roomate. "You're pretty cute when you're nervous, no homo though." Tyler smirked.

Oh.

\- - -

Josh, despite his previous anxieties, slept like a baby. Or at least he did, until at some ungodly hour in the night, Tyler had shimmied out of his bed and crawled over to Josh's. He enveloped him in a sleepy hug, and the two cuddled themselves back to sleep. Josh didn't question it. He didn't really want to, because Tyler already made him feel so utterly Pink and good inside, that potentially ruining anything like this seemed horrendous. But it's not like he, uh, liked Tyler or aything. That's out of the question, and he doesn't want to think about that night.

And when a furious rapping noise had startled Josh awake with a small, suprised gasp, he never asked anything either. Tyler only clung to him, eyebrows furrowed with confusion evident in his otherwise calm facial expression. Gee's voice rang throughout the hallways soon after that, loud and way too cheery for- Josh checked the alarm clock sitting on a nightstand next to him- 7:24 A.M.

"Look alive, sunshine!" Gerard spoke in a sing-song voice. Josh could practically taste the heavy amount of glee soaked in his voice, his overall expression. It was too fucking early for this. Well, at least someone got lucky last night.

Tyler muttered something about 'activities' and 'beach' in his sleep, but hasn't woken up yet. Josh nudged his shoulder slightly, and with a tired groan, he rolled out of the bed and onto the floor. "Fuck!" Tyler sighed, voice raspy from not using it in a while. He cleared his throat, and made no effort to stand up. Sitting there deemed appropriate. "Fuck you, Gerard. Fuck. You."

"Ahem." Josh couldn't help but giggle, smiling softly. He made an effort to rub the sleep from his eyes, frowning in distaste when he suddenly was reminded of his hideous morning breath. "Sleep well?"

Tyler nodded. "E-yup. Slept nice. Woke up horribly. I hate Saturdays." Josh has never, ever heard anybody say that about Saturday. Ever. In his life. He didn't intend to ever hear it, either. Especially not from his flower-obsessed Synesthetic roomate that made Josh all happy inside. In a totally not-gay kind of way. "Gerard pulls these activity days every Saturday, a team bonding kind of thing, I suppose. It's pretty lame, but I think we're going down the lake, which isn't too lame." Tyler sounded apprehensive, but the two were tired and Josh didn't have time to detect hatred in his new friends (hopefully) voice.

"We should get dressed and stuff then, hm?" Josh asked, standing up and cracking his back a few times in the process. Tyler totally was't staring, and Josh totally didn't purposely try and show off his arm tattoo on purpose. He just, um. Liked the colors. Liked letting other people admire them, especially Pink people... Shit.

"Yeah..." Tyler said, trailing off. Josh was distracting him in all the best ways, and he loved it. "I'd wear swim trunks under your clothes, and bring some water or money for food." Josh nodded in response, walking over to his suitcase. He still hasn't finished putting all of his stuff away, and his swim-suit wasn't even thought about. It was one of the last things he passed, and only by his mothers consideration. He remembered the conversation they had, about how the institute was located near a few beaches and they were bound to go swimming. Not that his mom knew anything about this place.

Josh got dressed in the bathroom down the hall, letting Tyler get dressed in his room. He threw on his trunks under some basketball shorts and a loose-fitting tank top, the words 'I BELIEVE IN ALIENS, SO SHOULD YOU!' sprawled on it in big, blocky lettering. It was his favorite thing to wear, minus nothing at all. Josh changed out the plugs in his ears, from his thick black ones to his tighter red ones. If he was going swimming, he in no way, shape, or form, would risk losing his favorite plugs.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door, and Josh had instantly thought Gerard was responsible once again, but the sound of an unfmiliar voice filtered through.

"Hurry up, gotta piss." That was Pete.

"There's other bathrooms-" Josh replied, because he still hasn't brushed his teeth yet and the disgusting flavor of morning breath still lingered on his tongue.

Pete sighed, loudly at that. Josh mentally wrote up another sticky note, this time writing 'drama queen pete' on it. Somehow, it made him feel satisfactory. "Pleeeeease, Joshua? I'll pee all in the sand, and last time I did that, Andy threw my phone in the lake for tainting his 'virgin eyes.'" He paused. "He wasn't even a virgin, that bastard..."

"Give me a second, Pete." Josh was only slightly irritated. He wasn't a mean guy, and hardly had a temper. One hell of an attitude problem, yes, but every young angsty man in their right mind had one. Especially from the gentle ages of seventeen to twenty, which was where Josh was now, unfortunately. "I'm brushing my teeth, you can wait." Josh muttered, scrubbing at his molars with fierce. He, as he's said before, cannot stand morning breath.

Pete, despite Josh's plea, took this as an open invitation to simply open the door. Josh jumped slightly at the noise, and glared daggers at Pete who only shrugged slightly and went to unzip his pants. Josh rolled his eyes, spitting in the sink and washing all of the excess toothpaste down the drain before leaving Pete to his morningly duties- not even bothering to close the door.

"DICK MOVE, JOSH!" Pete yelled, and Josh smirked to himself quietly before trudging back to his room. The door was open, so Josh knew that Tyler was finished getting dressed. He walked in casually, and smiled fondly at the sight.

Tyler was laying upsi-down on Josh's bed, sporting one of the weirdest outfits Josh's ever seen. Cargo shorts, a polo shirt, a red beanie that clashed with the entire outfit, and black crocks. Tyler is so fucking Pink. And a little Orange, Josh noted. Pink and Orange.

"Hello Jish!" Josh smiled at the nickname. "So, I totally stole your deoderant. Because yours smells good, and mine doesn't. Hope you don't mind." He doesn't. That's such a trivial thing to be upset about, Josh figured. Tyler was anxious, and Josh knew that, but he was glad that he wasn't uncomfortable with his presence or anything.

"Nah, it's good. Seen anyone yet?" Tyler shook his head.

"You?"

Josh laughed. "Pete really, really had to piss, I guess." Tyler grinned at that response, swinging upward to sit normally once again. "Barged in the bathroom, so I left the door open when I left."

Tyler made a disgusted face. "Yuck. Patrick'll probably catch 'em like that, yuuuck." Josh only shrugged. "Never let me get on your bad side."

"He isn't on my bad side, but if I'm brushing my teeth, you can wait to piss." Josh smiled, earning a smaller one from Tyler in response. Gerard's voice came throughout the hallways once more, louder now that their doors were open and everyone seemed to be awake.

"Everyone in the van by eight or I'll leave you here to rot!" Josh shook his head as Gerard yelled, already thinking of all the ways people would rush to make it in time. Instantly, he heard somebody else from the same hallway yell: "SHOTGUN!" And a few people groaned in obvious distaste.

"Fuck off, Trohman!" Someone yelled, and Joe yelled right back at them. Their yells were muffled by the walls of the rooms, but Josh still listened intently, and so did everybody else.

"Bite me, Ross!"

"Both of you, shut the fuck up! I'll throw you all in the lake! Leave you to the snapping turtles!" Gerard yelled, silencing them both. Josh admired Gee, how intimidating he could be while also being super nice and goddamned charasmatic.

\- - -

The van was everything someone wished they'd never find themselves in. It was huge, the size of a smaller bus, and Gerard was twirling a ring of keys on his pointer finger, leaning against the side of his vehicle while everyone pooled out of the house. The last person to leave was a short guy, with dirty black hair. He looked older than the rest of them, and tired. He went over and gave Gerard a kiss on the cheek, and that was all Josh really needed to see before he jumped into the van and sat in the very middle, next to Tyler.

"Alright, everyone in?" The short guy yelled from the passenger seat, shutting his car door with a loud sounding bang. The rest of the doors slid shut, and so when Josh shut his, it didn't make much of a noise at all. "'Cause I'm not waiting much longer. I'm ready to get beachy."

"Frank, never say 'I'm ready to get beachy' ever again. Please." Brendon replied, from the very back seat. He looked almost ridiculous as Tyler did, also wearing the same pair of black crocks, a Hawaiian-style tank top and just swim trunks with nothing to cover them.

Short guy, or Frank as Brendon addressed him, flipped Brendon off from his seat. "Shut up. Nobody answered my question, is everyone in?" A general murmur of 'yes' came from all of the boys, and just like that, Gerard was turning the keys in the ignition and they were driving off towards the nearest beach.

Josh watched as they zoomed past citygoers, dogs being walked and children rolling around on skateboards and heelies. He wouldn't admit that he was pretty envious of these people, having the freedom to leave whenever they wanted to without fear of judgement. Kids were always like that though, Josh could admit in their defense. He remembers buying a pack of ten-cent playing cards from the general corner store in his hometown, and then wrapping rubber bands around individual ones that he attached then to the spikes in his bicycle. Nostalgia was the worst part of growing up, Josh thought silently to himself.

"New kid! Josh!"

Someone interrupted Josh's nostalgic thoughts, making him jolt slightly. This person turned out to be Joe, Josephe? Joey? Someone with the letters J and O in their name, talking to him from one seat over.

Josh cleared his throat to reply. "Yeah?"

"Do you actually believe in aliens?" Joe asked, raising an eyebrow. Josh furrowed his, wondering where that question came from, until he remembered the shirt he was wearing and grinned slightly.

"Duh. Aliens are totally real. I mean, we exist, right? Who's to say more of us, kinda at least, don't either? Dimensions are real, too, and we're aliens in some of those. I want to believe." Josh nodded as he finished, looking to Joe.

Joe looked thoughtful before responding, but did swiftly. "I only think about space when I'm high.

Josh can't wait to get to the beach.

\- - -

**Author's Note:**

> twitter - @laquoart


End file.
